Don’t even ask me how I’m feeling. Because I can’t say that it’s a good or a bad feeling. I just know that the way I am feeling this very moment is one that could literally, make me sleep on the floor, if necessary. It’s not that I’m sick. It’s more of like my wonderful immune system that is supposed to protect me from germs, has so nicely decided to attack itself and make me feel like concrete.

I feel horrible. Everything about the word describes how I feel. Not too long ago, I decided to go try and rest before dinner. But as soon as I hit the sheets, I feel as if there is a pile of bricks sitting on my chest. Unbearable to sleep, difficult to get comfortable, and the worst part? hard to just rest and stop thinking. Stop thinking that I know I feel horrible, that I wish I could breathe, that I wishing there was a more even mix of the cherry Luden cough/throat drops because well, those are great (and there aren’t, and I’m just left with fruity strawberry).. and it’s bad. I can barely speak, and when I do, it’s not that you can hear me talk. My voice is so hoarse. I hope I don’t loose my voice.

I have a tissue jammed up into my left nostril. It’s like a leaky faucet. Either I’m stuffed up, or that I have a runny nose, or some combination of the two. But whenever I blow my nose, it’s like hurricane force winds. Well, whatever is attacking my system, I kindly suggest that you stop please, and I’m asking nicely, because I start my new job at the Clinic tomorrow. And it’s important.

I hope you’re listening.

Simply amazing. He surprised me with a “birthday button” that I got to wear for the entire trip while guests and Cast Members wish and sing Happy Birthday to me on a moments notice. I felt so special, however my real birthday isn’t until the end of the month. In fact, I plan on wearing that button on the day of my real birthday so watch out!

Our days were very busy. Hitting two parks in a day, doing lots of walking, and trying to see as many things as possible before we hit up our second park for that day. Even though it was really warm outside, we didn’t hit the water parks. Nor I or Chris wanted to fry in the Orlando sun. We thought about it on Monday, however it was 88ºF outside, and once you’re in the sun for about an hour, it almost becomes unbearable.

My favorite ride of the trip was at Animal Kingdom called Everest. The ride is sick. I love a little bit of thrill (I don’t mind going upside down, but this one did not do that), and this ride definitely had it. Everest was great because… I don’t want to spoil it, but it was a blast. Chris and I would watch “Everest: Beyond The Limit” show and the show itself played a part in the ride. Nothing about the ride is fake. It’s all real, except maybe the part about the Yeti.

There are little things that annoy me. One of them, is leaving your clothing in the washer (or dryer) for more than a twenty four hour period. It annoys me because even when I ask the culprit if they can remove their clothing, it’s almost as if it’s some kind of “holding area” for someone who committed a crime and is waiting to be sent to jail.

The only reason that I can think of just leaving it in the washer or dryer is because you’re lazy. What about if I want to do my laundry? I have to then be really patient because I know you’re going to take very long to remove your clothing because, and I find that behavior lacking respect and discourteous. If you refuse to remove your clothing, maybe you shouldn’t even have the privilege to use the washing machine. What is so difficult about moving your clothes from one to the other?

It’s not like giving birth.

Just the other day I decided to clean out my closet. I don’t do this very often for two main reasons. First, I feel uncomfortable putting aside my size zero and extra small items because, there’s still a part of me that believes they will fit me someday. Second, I hate the thought that I can’t fit into a smaller size because my body is continuously growing, however my weight has been very stable for over a month now. There’s something about being in a larger size that bothers me. With the clothes that I put aside (suit pants, chinos and tank tops) I realized something.

If you’re a woman, and have womanly curves… you’re never going to realistically fit into the smaller sizes that the media and clothing companies want. For example, my Mum got me a pair of Columbia shorts to try because I needed shorts for my trip. I tried on a size, but it wasn’t the right fit, and I went up to the next size. Even going up to that other size- it was more of “why can’t the smaller size fit me?” and “there’s no way that I’m a size eight”. Do I really look that large? I mean, this is pathetic. Clothing companies vary from designer to designer. But what really irked me is, I can fully understand why America has so many people affected by Eating Disorders. For whatever reason, if you can’t fit into your “skinny jeans”, of course you’d most likely diet. Little do you know (at the time), that so-called “diet” could potentially kill you. All to just fit into those jeans.

It’s not worth it. I’m starting to embrace my size four/six. I’ve got curves. Whomever is designing these clothes isn’t taking a womanly shape into mind. I’m not at all saying that I belong in plus size clothing, and that’s not the point. I know there’s probably conflict with clothing designers. They want a skinny (without any curves, basically a young boy) model who can show off their clothes, and it doesn’t matter how much they weigh. I personally, don’t want to be a young boy, or fit into clothing made for a twelve year old, regardless of the style.

Life is too short to obsess over your weight.

Just a bit over one week until I’m finished. It’s a great feeling. I don’t even care what happens from now until then. I’m just ready. Very ready. That I just want to go away on my wonderful, nicely planned vacation to Walt Disney World with my boyfriend, and start fresh. But I know I won’t miss it. That is, my current job. There’s nothing to “miss”, except the discount… and well, I’ve got enough skin care and body crap to last at least two years. And I’m not kidding.